It's Not Always Rainbows and Butterflies

Looking back on the past four years is bittersweet. If I had not moved here I would not have Grace. Because I made the big leap I have a whole other family that I love and that loves me. For these things I am truly grateful.

The "bitter" part of bittersweet is harder to deal with and leaves a deeper sadness with every passing day. Grace is growing up without any family even in the same state. There are no drop in visits, no trips to the park with her cousins. No birthday parties to scrapbook that "her whole family was there and you made everyone laugh".

Bridal magazines should come with a warning: "results not typical". I am amazed at how women who have been married for 10-20 years have managed not to kill their husbands. Despite the messiness and occasional fight over dirty socks on the floor, and toothpaste on the bathroom mirror I am pretty lucky and having Grace made me love him even more.

In three years we are moving back. In my mind I am already there. I envision Grace going to school in the same district that I did, I see her at the Science Museum when she is older taking it all in, Como Zoo, The Children's Museum and playing in all the lakes. The first thing I see is us with our family at the weekly picnics, Thanksgiving and all the other things that we have missed out on.

Even only spending days at a time in Minnesota, I have a toddler who spouts out "boat" just like her family up north. Apparently I am doing something right.